Today we’d like to introduce you to Madison Kirksey
Hi Madison, it’s an honor to have you on the platform. Thanks for taking the time to share your story with us – to start maybe you can share some of your backstory with our readers?
I often say my life has been defined by transformations—some I chose and some that chose me. I grew up in a tumultuous home where my mother’s anger and violence taught me to make myself as small and obedient as possible. By 17, I was putting what I could into garbage bags and moving out on my own.
This upbringing left me with profound low self-worth and a desperate need to prove myself. I spent my early 20s just trying to survive—working multiple jobs and experiencing homelessness. Eventually, I chose to join the Air Force not just as a way out, but as a path to purpose and achievement. I served 6 years as a Chinese linguist and intelligence analyst for the NSA, including one deployment to Afghanistan. The military gave me structure and valuable analytical skills, but my underlying negative self-perception continued to affect every area of my life, especially relationships.
This unhealed wound culminated in my marriage to a man who would betray me repeatedly. When our son was just months old, I discovered my first husband’s years of infidelity, which forced me to rebuild my life as a single mother while processing betrayal and grief.
Facing this triple transition—new mom, new civilian, new divorcee—I had to confront not just the heartbreak of divorce but the more profound question of why I’d chosen such a partner in the first place. I was determined to break the cycle that had led me to this crossroads. I realized I needed to rebuild myself from the ground up, not just for me, but for my son. He deserved a mother who knew her worth and could model healthy relationships.
I drew on my analytical background and scoured every resource available for answers, compiling the most effective methods for transformation. In intelligence work, you learn to analyze patterns, separate facts from assumptions, and develop strategic solutions. I applied these same skills to deconstructing both heartbreak and my own destructive patterns.
As I transformed from devastated to thriving, friends going through similar struggles started seeking my advice. Seeing my methods work for them, I realized I had created something valuable that needed to be shared. That’s how ‘The Heart Reset’ was born—an actionable 6-step guide for women who want better results in life and love and want them now.
Today, I’m a mother of three, happily remarried, and finally using my experiences to help other women transform their heartbreak into personal power. Writing ‘The Heart Reset’ has been a way to ensure that the most challenging chapters of my story weren’t just meaningless suffering but stepping stones to helping others find their way through similar darkness.
I’m sure it wasn’t obstacle-free, but would you say the journey has been fairly smooth so far?
The journey to writing this book—and rebuilding my life—was anything but smooth.
First came the practical challenges. I had already remarried and had my second child when I was first inspired. Then, in the midst of writing, I became pregnant with my third child which was a huge challenge! I had to put the writing process entirely on hold for over a year and even considered abandoning it. However, the encouragement of my husband and my desire to pay it forward to women like me helped me to recommit.
The emotional terrain also brought its own challenges. Writing about my past inevitably meant revisiting painful memories—so much so that I experienced nightmares during the writing process. But as I explain in the book, grief isn’t a one-time event with a clear endpoint; it’s ongoing and cyclical. Experiencing these emotions again was completely normal and actually validated the methods I was sharing. Instead of being derailed by these feelings, I could move through them using the very tools I was documenting. The writing process ultimately became cathartic—a way of closing a chapter figuratively and literally, helping me integrate these experiences into my story rather than letting them define me.
Then came the challenge of navigating a new relationship while writing about my previous one. Despite my healing progress, I still found trust incredibly difficult. I’d catch myself scanning for red flags and building emotional walls to protect myself from potential heartbreak. This hypervigilance is common for anyone who’s experienced relationship betrayal. Learning to trust again while being wisely cautious required more than self-awareness—it ultimately demanded faith. As I share in the book’s afterword, one of the most powerful tools in healing isn’t just personal strength or vigilance but allowing faith to carry you through uncertainties you can’t control.
But perhaps the most significant struggle was believing my voice mattered. As someone without traditional credentials in psychology or counseling, I battled impostor syndrome. Who was I to guide others through heartbreak? However, feedback from women applying my methods kept pushing me forward.
These struggles weren’t detours from my journey—they were the journey itself. Each obstacle forced me to refine my methods and deepen my understanding of transformation after trauma. The book became stronger because of these challenges, not despite them.
Thanks – so what else should our readers know about your work and what you’re currently focused on?
At my core, I’m a wife, mother, friend, and community member—roles I approach with intention and purpose. I take these responsibilities seriously because I understand their profound impact. Where I see a need I can fill, I fill it. This mindset naturally transformed me into a writer, and a mentor, when I recognized that my journey could benefit others facing similar struggles.
Right now my focus is helping women transform heartbreak into a catalyst for extraordinary personal growth. Through ‘The Heart Reset,’ I’ve created a systematic approach that guides women from the devastation of divorce to creating a life they love.
What sets my work apart is my analytical approach to emotional healing. Drawing from my intelligence background, I break down recovery into six clear, actionable steps rather than offering vague platitudes or quick fixes. I believe in addressing the practical and emotional aspects of healing—from understanding grief to rediscovering identity and setting boundaries that protect your quality of life.
The methods I share aren’t theoretical; they’re battle-tested strategies that transformed my life and the lives of women I’ve guided. My work bridges the gap between processing trauma and creating a compelling vision for your future.
I’m most proud of how this approach empowers women to stop settling in relationships. Many of us repeat unhealthy patterns because we don’t know how to identify and ask for what we truly want. My book helps women develop the confidence to date differently—from a place of wholeness rather than need.
What truly distinguishes my work is its holistic nature. I don’t just address how to get over an ex; I guide women through rebuilding their entire relationship with themselves. I dive deep into practical tools like thought work and the power of small daily habits and setting standards for yourself and others.
The feedback I treasure most comes from women who’ve applied these principles and created relationships and lives they never thought possible. Seeing someone move from ‘Why is this happening to me?’ to ‘This happened for me’ is the most rewarding aspect of my work.
We love surprises, fun facts and unexpected stories. Is there something you can share that might surprise us?
What might surprise people is that despite ‘The Heart Reset’ focusing primarily on practical tools for healing, the book’s creation led me to a profound spiritual transformation. In the afterword, I share how faith ultimately became my greatest tool when all my strategies and self-reliance reached their limits.
My journey with faith has been complicated. Growing up, my parents used religion to justify harsh discipline rather than teaching love or compassion. This early experience led me to associate God with punishment rather than healing. After leaving home, I distanced myself from organized religion for years.
The irony is that as I moved through the process of writing this book and healing from my past, I found myself accidentally falling back into a relationship with God—but on completely different terms than my childhood experience. What began as meditation transformed into prayer, and what began as skepticism transformed into one of my greatest sources of strength. My spiritual journey came full circle as I discovered that faith could be a shelter rather than a weapon.
This evolution is why the book concludes where a new beginning emerged for me—acknowledging that while practical tools are essential, there’s also healing to be found in looking up rather than just looking inward. It’s been humbling to discover that sometimes our deepest healing happens in ways we least expect. For this reason, I’m careful to present spiritual healing as a personal choice rather than a prescription in my work, honoring that everyone’s path to wholeness looks different.
Pricing:
- Free EBook for anyone who registers at theheartreset.com or emails me directly at theauthormadison@gmail.com.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://theheartreset.com
- Instagram: @theheartresetbook or @citizenmadison
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theheartresetbook?mibextid=wwXIfr&mibextid=wwXIfr
