Brittney BOBBIE DeMars shared their story and experiences with us recently and you can find our conversation below.
Hi Brittney BOBBIE, thank you for taking the time to reflect back on your journey with us. I think our readers are in for a real treat. There is so much we can all learn from each other and so thank you again for opening up with us. Let’s get into it: What is something outside of work that is bringing you joy lately?
Something outside of work that is bringing me joy lately has been taking myself out more, specifically to cater to the kid in me. My most recent adventures have been seeing Holiday lights and going to concerts from artists I grew up listening to. Over a year ago I began being more intentional in attending 1-2 fun events a week, simply to do things I enjoy – be it to dinner at my favorite restaurant, a show, or inviting a friend out on an adventure. Sometimes I can get so caught up in life, but I always remind myself to find the importance and the fun in taking a step back, remembering I have free will, and I don’t need to wait for permission or ask anyone to do the things I’ve always found joy in.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
I am Brittney “Bobbie” DeMars and I am an educator, a performer, and a creative, with a passion for travel and adventurer! My day job consists of working with First Generation students who will be the first in their families to graduate from college! I an the Associate Director of my Middle School Cohort and I have been serving families in Central Texas for the past 10 years! I have a deep passion for what I do and the students and families I have the opportunity to serve.
Outside of that I am a creative – a dance instructor and performer based in Austin who lives to help others tap into their confidence through music and movement. Although I greatly enjoy performing, my greatest passion is teaching others and helping them realize their confidence and self love through how their bodies move. I am also a small content creator, however my friends and colleagues would say I’m “low-key” a life coach, as I not only help people discover their potential through dance, but I greatly enjoy conversations and creating content all around confidence, self value, and all things about changing and strengthening the mindset!
I’d like to say I “dip-dab” in quite a few things, but all of these things I am greatly passionate about and I throw so much of myself – physically, mentally, and emotionally – into! For me they all tie into my passion for others and helping them change for the better – be it on the dance floor, in the classroom, or simply within their mindset.
Okay, so here’s a deep one: What did you believe about yourself as a child that you no longer believe?
As a child, and honestly even into adulthood, I believed I “needed” to be PERFECT. I believed I always has to be seen as capable and reliable, and that asking for help was a sign of weakness. I believed others perceived me as perfect so long as I didn’t let them see the real, the vulnerable, the “weak” side of me. And it worked, or at least I thought it did. Until I realized not only is perfection impossible, and unrelatable, it is also exhaustin0g and no one “needed” that of me. However I’d held on to that belief for so long that I projected onto others and believed it was what I had to show up as – that it was the only way I’d be accepted. It was one of the most difficulty things I had to unlearn, and sometimes I still have to remind myself of. While unlearning perfection, I’d also learned that vulnerability can be a great strength, and that although people admire perfection, it isn’t relatable, nor is it something people fall in love with or want to be around 24/7. And although unlearning perfection was difficult, it was the greatest release when I took that belief off of my shoulders, when I stepped down from the faulty pedestal that felt more like a tightrope I’d been balancing on for so long, and decided to just be. Letting go of that belief changed everything for me.
What did suffering teach you that success never could?
Suffering taught me how much power my mind has in any circumstance, and ultimately how much power I have. It taught me that while I may not always be in control of the circumstances of a situation, my actions within it and reactions to it have just as much of an effect on the outcome. Suffering taught me how to go inward, to check in with myself, but also to trust myself. To trust my strength and realize just how strong I truly am, not just because I need to be, but because I AM. And because of that strength I can control how I maneuver, and even if I get knocked down one million times I can and will get back up each and every time.
Through suffering, combined with resilience and patience, I’ve learned that I can always rebuild. One of my sisters and I had a conversation sometime ago where we just about simultaneously recited “If I built it once, I can build it 1000 times again”. That is something I’ve always carry with me, that no matter how many times I “fail”, no matter how much suffering I go through, I can start over and I can always succeed again, again, and again, as many times as I have to. And while success can definitely plant that seed, suffering is what taught me how to actually water and grow it.
Next, maybe we can discuss some of your foundational philosophies and views? What’s a belief you used to hold tightly but now think was naive or wrong?
A belief I used to hold on to was that productivity and business was a remedy to everything. I once was stuck in the trap that any idle time meant I wasn’t busy enough. If I was sad, I just needed to find something to occupy my mind. If I was bored, I needed to find some type of productivity or work to occupy my time. If I wanted to be successful, I needed to be more productive than well-rested. If I was upset or emotional about something it was because I didn’t have enough to do. If I wanted to clear my head and not feel anything, I just needed to “work more”. And all of that was utter garbage, and unhealthy for my mind as well as my body. I had to learn that resting is also okay, it is necessary, and it is not something to only take when you are finally burnt out or running on empty. Also, productivity can be doing fun things that you enjoy or making time for those things in between. I never believed in living life without adventure and excitement, but my belief of needing to fill every minute of “idle time” with something productive was only making me not want to do anything. The real key is in balance and when I found that, as well as the power of saying “No”, I had more energy in my fun time, I rested better in my down-time, and I was much more productive in my work-time!
Okay, so let’s keep going with one more question that means a lot to us: What is the story you hope people tell about you when you’re gone?
When the day comes that I am no longer here, I would hope people would say I lived my life the way I wanted to. I traveled when I wanted, I danced when I wanted, I rested when I wanted, and I walked away when I wanted to. I would hope my story is told for the positivity I’ve lead with and what I brought to my friendships, my communities, my work, and overall my interactions with others. I’d also hope people would share my mindset, that I was not perfect and neither had my life been, but I still lived it with a joy and deep love for who I am and who I had been – the good, bad, beauty, and ugliness of it all.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbsthebuilder
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brittney-demars-16a954329
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@bobbsthebuilder
