Today we’d like to introduce you to Gemma Parmar.
Hi Gemma, it’s an honor to have you on the platform. Thanks for taking the time to share your story with us – to start maybe you can share some of your backstory with our readers?
I’ve arrived where I am today through the accumulation of all my experiences in life. I take great joy in looking into all the moments of my life to see how they have shaped me into the person I am today. I have this inner soul calling to never live with regret and to immerse myself in the opportunities that life offers me. This gives me the relief that if I died tomorrow, I’ve done everything I can to live a joyous and full life!
I come from an ancestry of immigrants, which set the tone in my mind for how my ancestors expected me to show up. My great grandfather migrated from India to Tanzania on his own, on a giant boat in the late 1800s, He was taught by the locals to be a shoe smith – talk about big shoes to fill! Haha. My grandad moved my father’s family from Tanzania to the United Kingdom with only 26 pounds sterling for a family of seven. My dad moved from England to Scotland, where he met my mother then my brother & I were born and we moved us to Houston, Texas! I grew up in the suburbs of Houston and went to college at Texas State University in San Marcos, Texas and honestly, I said I would never live in Austin, Texas! I was too afraid of the parking! After college, I took a risk to move back to Scotland to experience being closer to family and get back to my roots. However, this Texas sunshine lover did not last long in the Scottish rain! That’s when I decided to return to Texas and begin my journey in Austin.
For the first few years in Austin, I worked as a manager of a Travel Agent team and spent most of my time in the live music scene. Live felt pretty normal, or at least I thought so at the time. I had a great salary job, friends to travel & adventure with, and a partner that was perfect on paper. Yet I found myself in a storm of emotions regularly. I was overpowered, overwhelmed by how strongly I felt. Even with the checklist of happiness filled out, I felt lost and empty inside.
And to be honest, I currently feel pretty lost – the difference now is that I don’t feel empty. Since moving to Austin I have been blessed with beautiful mentorships, friendships, and opportunities to grow as a human. So when I noticed these life-consuming emotions, I decided it was time for professional help. I always spoke out about the importance of mental health, and taking care of oneself – yet never admitted to myself that I was someone who struggled with mental health issues.
And so I began therapy, – which actually began therapy because I thought someone I loved needed therapy and wanted to show them it’s okay to go (still believing it’s not me with the trauma) and it turned my life upside down. I realized we cannot change anyone without them wanting to help themselves first. And this was my message to help myself first. Through therapy, I learned so much about the way I was showing up in my life, and how that was directly or indirectly affecting the storm of my emotions causing me to feel disconnected from life.
I was that kid that geeked out about leadership, personal growth, & development. I was always running for something or learning how to improve myself to contribute to the whole. So therapy was another challenge for me to dive down the rabbit hole of personal development like it was something to achieve. I quickly learned it is simply the human experience to heal, learn, & grow. It will always, continuously happen whether we are conscious of it or not.
With these new realizations from therapy, I was interested in other ways that could help me heal. It was time for something new that could help me expand, so I joined a yoga studio, knowing Austin was a hub for yoga. I had done yoga before and knew it was a practice to help the body, mind, and soul so I wasn’t entirely new, but I had never done it like this before. This time there was chanting, there was intentional breathing, both stillness, and movement. There were book clubs, sound baths, and chances to learn from many people & scriptures. And most importantly, I found myself immersed in a community of humans. And I mean so authentically human that I had to pinch myself to believe it was real.
Sukha Yoga off South Lamar was the studio that held me so gently in a very turbulent place in my life. I was finally welcomed into a place where I was accepted in my entire humanity. I was discovering that I grew up with an eating disorder, anxiety & depression that stemmed from PTSD, and in the midst of struggling with addiction myself. Sukha was a place I could cry on my mat one day, and laugh the next. A place I didn’t feel judged to be messy, and I could explore what I learned in therapy through how I showed up on my mat. I felt like I could breathe again! In fact, I learned I had an inverted breathing pattern through learning pranayama (breathwork techniques) aka I had been breathing wrong my most of my life! I thought to myself, “How could I be breathing wrong!? Isn’t this an automatic thing I just know how to do?” Turns out stress, and insecurities about muffin tops from age thirteen can rewrite the rhythms of your system.
I began my first teacher training in January of 2020 with the desire to know more about how these ancient teachings could help our modern-day woes (like feeling lost and overwhelmed with emotion). And when the pandemic began, it changed everything about my plan! I was going to stay in my role as a travel agent and teach some classes on the side, but there was big energy around ‘do what you love or you will die wishing you had’. I don’t think I ever had a plan to start my own business, quit corporate life, and become fully immersed in the holistic healing space but that is what happened!
I quit my corporate job in 2021 and flew into entrepreneurship – like I don’t think I thought about a business plan until 5 months after starting my LLC! Whoopss… I’m the type of person to jump when the opportunity presents itself, I have this deep trust in myself and the universe that what is meant to happen will work out and all the rest is the journey of life. Not sure how proven this tactic is, but it’s allowed me to do everything I have ever desired – Say yes & bless the rest! All I knew was that I wanted to help others discover their own power to heal themselves and empower people to create the life of their dreams. I’m an idealist and truly believe when we all heal on an individual level, we have the power to create a harmonious world around us.
So fast forward two years later to 2022. I have taken over 1000+ hours in training, put myself out there in the community, and stepped into a new role as a businesswoman. I won’t say it hasn’t been hard creating a business around healing, in a business world that disregards or preys on the human experience. I feel many people in my generation have a yearning to do business kindly and differently than generations before us, Where everyone wins and we don’t have to step on our values to be considered ‘successful’. It brings me great joy to currently be laying the foundations of my own business and know I can choose the way I conduct business. My first year was simply to explore how I love to show up in the entrepreneurial space, what type of business brings me energy & joy and what provides value for my community.
Like most people, I struggle with imposter syndrome. Austin is filled with many ‘big’ names in the holistic healing community (sometimes often put on pedestals) and most people still define success in business by how much you make. And that even healers deserve to be paid big amounts of money. I battled with thoughts of, “If I don’t charge high ticket prices, I don’t value myself” or “If people don’t sign up for my high-priced coaching program, something in me is blocking me from enrollments” aka it’s my fault. That way of thinking took a toll on me and I began to resent my own business. And this was all because I was following someone else’s definition of success. When I learned my value as a human being is not connected to my monetary value, I learned that I am different in the ways of thinking about what a successful healing business is.
I’m in a spot of my life where I feel lost on what step I should take in my business and I am actually enjoying being lost. Knowing that I have a world of opportunity around me and I can choose when I hear the call. Often along the path of our dharma (finding our purpose) we find it, cling on to it, and fear losing it. Because we worked so hard to find what exactly we are meant to do, so we can show up and do it. We sometimes don’t realize that it shifts and changes and takes many different molds.
My business has been centered around events, workshops and classes, 1:1 mentoring and coaching, yet right now I hear the call to take time off from that and hone in on my writing skills hoping that it will serve my public speaking skills for my long-term dreams. Of course, I have had the thoughts of, “Does this mean I am giving up? What will people think if I stop doing what I have been doing?” Yet I know in my heart this is the best decision for my purpose.
The path of the healing arts has helped me bring awareness into my life, to piece together all that makes me whole. Where I am at today is somewhere I could never have dreamed of being. I’d never thought I could enjoy being lost and staying in the questions as much as I do. My playful willingness to look fear in the face and do things differently anyway is helping me do that not only in life but as I create my dream business. And I recognize that it takes time to build, so I might as well enjoy the scenery along the way.
Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
We all dream of smooth sailing, some of us go on a healing journey in hopes that life will be smoother if we just heal ‘x’ about ourselves. With proper guidance & spaciousness, we can discover life is an array of struggles and suffering. In fact, that is one of the Buddha’s 4 Noble Truths – 1. Life is suffering! It’s a bold statement, yet when I ponder it longer it gives me a sense of relief. Buddha goes on to provide a solution to the suffering (but we will save that for a future workshop!)
I struggled to believe I was a person that had struggles in the first place. It took a long time to even admit that I wasn’t showing up as my best and brightest. It really affected my self-esteem and for a while, it felt like a loop of starting over at zero. I was an alcoholic for 10 years, which was one of the scariest things I had to admit in my life. Through therapy, mindfulness, and support, I learned I wasn’t simply addicted to alcohol, that I was using drinking as a way to mask the sadness, and pain that had accumulated throughout life.
This path began a year after I was sexually assaulted for the first time. It took me 8 years to acknowledge that I had been sexually assaulted because I truly believed it was my fault that it happened. I feel many women and girls dismiss and minimize their sexual assaults because it’s there’s a huge grey area of what is even considered an assault. As if a sexual assault has to look specifically like it does in the media (I’m @ing you crime shows!). I was confused, I wasn’t coerced, I wasn’t hurt that I had to go to the doctor. All I remember is that I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t say no, but I also couldn’t say anything else. I learned years later my nervous system went into a freeze response to protect me in a moment of uncertainty.
I worked up the courage to tell my boyfriend that I didn’t want to continue being sexual (setting a boundary!) and wham he broke up with me. Then little 8th grade me created a belief that if I set boundaries around my body, I will be left and not worthy of love. WOAH – my 8th-grade self did not logically come to that conclusion but more so physiologically. My nervous system was rewired to find love out of desperation. I unconsciously created a pattern to use my body as a way to get love, and when the pain of that got too big, I found a reason to celebrate aka a reason to drink. I’d wake up with no memories and an ‘outta sight, outta mind’ attitude.
I truly believe if consent was taught at such a young age, I might have had the courage and ability to state my needs and boundaries at the moment. Yet had this journey not happened, I would not be where I am today. Looking back to where the beginning of my struggles took place, helped me take my power back. I am extremely passionate about teaching others consent as well as practicing consent in all scenarios not just sexual encounters.
I feel this is important to share with others because some of us have this idea that our microtraumas are less important than others’ macro traumas. The ‘it wasn’t that bad’ minimization or ‘I turned out alright didn’t I?’ defense mechanisms. All of us deserve open, judgment-free healing no matter what we are suffering from.
Which is another struggle many people in the healing world face – finding a judgment-free zone to explore the deeper parts of yourself. It takes great courage to admit that you need guidance or help from someone in a world that idolizes individuality and the ‘tough it up’ mentality. And once you begin the path there’s a whole journey to find a place where you feel safe to heal. To trust someone with your healing is a tender thing and should be treated as such.
One of the biggest struggles on my healing journey was finding a therapist that fit my needs. It takes people so long to admit that therapy is an okay path to take, then you have to work with your insurance, or be reminded you don’t have to. There are lots of phone calls, and many steps that feel downright exhausting to get in front of a therapist and their energy is off or you are asking for what you need and they aren’t listening to you. It took me 3 or 4 therapists to find someone I worked with well and felt safe and not judged.
This was also the same path it took to find a medication that could help me. It takes a lot of time to try an anti-depressant or anti-anxiety med. There’s not a lot of support to help you through it. They send you off and let you know it’s 6-8 weeks to feel the full effects, before then you might experience an array of symptoms that will definitely affect your day-to-day living. And once you hit that 8 weeks, you might need to do another 8 weeks to see if it really fits and if it doesn’t? Time to start over. It takes a lot of spiritual will to keep coming back and getting knocked down by new things, to help cope with the old things. Through all of this, I have recognized there’s a big need for support along the way. We can’t always tell our therapist everything, our friends and family all have their own opinions, so sometimes we need emotional support in ways that aren’t directly written out in front of us.
I remember one of the monumental moments in my life that taught me about asking for support. I was at this training in the beginning of 2021 (hosted by Kat Fleming) and we were having our philosophy discussion for the day. I could feel the tense energy in the space from the passionate discussion and our facilitator could as well. They offered for us to pause and partake in a receiving circle. Essentially, anyone who felt that they needed to receive healing energy laid down in the middle of the circle, and everyone else created the healing circle around them. Is was about half and half the first round. We were all in this beautiful yurt, the sun was shining through the canvas, people were singing healing tones, sending love & blessings and I bawled. I don’t think I have ever cried so hard in front of strangers in my life.
After the receiving, we were invited to step outside the yurt and connect with the earth. As I was doing so, one of the support staff came up to me and asked if I needed another round, as they could tell I was pretty unraveled. At first, I said, “No I am okay” Thinking to myself how selfish I would be if I took a second round. The emotional support staff reassured me it would be okay to go a second round, so I said yes. Turns out no one else needed a second round and it was me surrounded with love by 20 people I had met two days ago!
It required me to put away all my judgments of how healing and asking for support was supposed to look, it required me to put away judgments of who healing was supposed to happen with and it required all of these beautiful people to put aside their judgments about the experience I was having and be with me in loving presence. And I will never forget that moment in my life. It taught me what can be, it gave me hope for my future.
I choose to take risks and explore myself with vulnerability because I know unexpected moments like these happen. That looking at what makes us struggle and suffer can actually help us live fuller lives.
Alright, so let’s switch gears a bit and talk business. What should we know about your work?
As a Holistic Healing Mentor, I help people learn different healing modalities and provide emotional support through transitions of growth. I teach yoga and meditation weekly at Flow Yoga Westgate and TruFusion in South Austin. I also host community events & facilitate workshops centered around healing, exploration, and play. In my spaces, you can always expect to try on something new, discover a different perspective, or create spaciousness.
I specialize in helping women discover & reclaim their power by understanding and speaking about their needs, using their voices, and moving energy in their bodies. I offer a personalized and holistic approach to mentoring, that takes a birds-eye view while addressing the root/roots of the issue. I believe we all have the ability to heal ourselves and sometimes we need guidance to find that ability. I focus on empowerment, embodied learning, gentleness, action, and integration. I feel these are the key ingredients to having lifelong tools for healing.
In my community, I am known for having exciting, playful, gentle ways of teaching. I want to provide a space where everyone can learn something, whether it’s what you loved or didn’t like, I aspire to promote exploration, self-inquiry, and acceptance.
I am most proud of myself in the moment that started my facilitation journey hear in Austin! I went to this meditation event through the Insid3out Spirituality Group and just as I was about to leave, I got a heart ping! It said, go ask the host (Derek Lively) if you can teach next week. And when I did, he said yes! And from that moment on I went on what felt like a summer tour! People were yearning for connection and I had the tools to create spaces for us to reconnect after the pandemic. It was so thrilling and made me feel alive to create such intimate relationships with people I had never known. And it was because I took a chance on myself that night.
This has helped me always stay true to my heart. I take a lot of time to study and practice on my own so that when I teach I can move from an embodied heart-centered place. I get to know myself, so what I offer can be accessible and vulnerable. I have had to move through a lot of imposter syndrome and recognize the joy of learning and sharing is why I do what I do. I think it is so fun when we take a chance on ourselves and come out as whole new people. I believe creating new experiences by showing up in new ways, can help us move beyond the limits of our past.
I recognize the important role presence plays in our healing. Nothing brings me more joy than being present and holding space for someone’s healing. We often can feel intimidated or scared to hold space for someone’s emotions, when the simplest thing we can do is breathe deeply, listen openly, and maybe ask a question or two. There’s no need to give advice or say ‘the right thing’. People can do a lot with the space you create around their process. I often see this after my yoga classes. The physical yoga asana practice can move a lot of energy and sometimes practices like yin can bring up a lot in our mind space. Students often feel emotional after class (as emotions are energy in motion) and are often apologetic for crying to me after class. You see, people are often in a rush and don’t have time for these types of messy emotions. So when we meet someone who is willing to stand there and listen we sometimes feel like a burden. But for me, I always have time for someone’s emotions. If I don’t have the space, I let people know that I appreciate their willingness to be open and it’s not the best moment for me to be in a support role. I then ask if they have someone else or if I am willing to speak with them later. Simple acknowledgments go a long way for the journey to recognizing your humanity.
I also take a very different approach to holding workshop spaces. I come from a dance background – the costumes, the make-up, learning many routines, portraying many emotions. The way dance has shaped my ability to emote and move feelings through my body is directly reflected in my work. One of my favorite offerings is an archetypal dance. I take students on a journey through emotions by guiding movement to music that draws in emotion. It’s a weaving of some ‘choreography’ but the container is meant to be broken out of. That my guidance is just a place to start and your expression is what creates the dance and the healing. These movements are inspired by dance, Qi Gong, Tai Chi, Tantra, Yoga, playing outside, animals – all of life! Physical reenactment can help us flush out feelings that we’ve been holding on to in our energetic, physical, mental or spiritual bodies. A lot of people in the U.S. struggle to dance and express themselves freely and this offering helps many people discover their personal expression.
If we knew you growing up, how would we have described you?
I was a very happy, goofy kid that loved to play, dance, and swim. As a child, I grew up on a culdesac of about 30 girls ages 1-18! And like five boys haha! It was honestly the best, there was always someone to play with and we had tons of sleepovers and themed parties – which is actually how I became so creative with the events I host today! All the moms would host fun parties and go all out, I take aspects of how they made it exciting and weave that into my holding space. I grew up surrounded by a loving fun community. My parents had wonderful friends that I consider my aunts and uncles. Growing up away from cousins & other family members, we had to make our family. For 20+ years my parents have more or less held the same friend group. When you see a tribe like that and all the things they’ve gone through together, you can’t help but wish that for yourself.
I had always had an interest in dancing and service work. I loved being the center of attention, making people laugh, and telling a story through dance. I also volunteered often because I liked working to make other’s life simpler. It’s a significant part of why I am the humanitarian I am today. I always remember this story my dad told me about the time he went to visit his great aunt back in Tanzania. She had servants and wasn’t kind to them. She’d make them eat outside, so my father ate outside with them. He showed her things could be different, it takes a lot for us to stand up to the people who raised us. My parents always taught me to stand by people and up for them when I see something happening. They often did this through example rather than telling me.
As a kid, I had dreams of running an orphanage, joining the peace corps, and doing international humanitarian work. While I have done that on some level, I still want to make that happen for a little gem. I know what I am doing now, is leading me to build community in the future around sustainable, ethical support and how the right leadership can make anything happen. I’ve really always had a desire for a world where everyone’s needs are met, we can depend on each other.
I’m an Aries Sun sign, which means I like to be first in everything, most everything is a competition, and I am the best hype girl you will find! My mum is also an Aries, which made us very close growing up. We were a lot alike, so growing up was a lot of deciding who I was and who my mum is, while still loving all the things she taught me. She used to tell me I was going to turn into a chicken tender or chocolate pudding because that’s all I ate. My childhood was simple until it was complex.
The older I got the angrier I felt. At the time I didn’t know, but I was hurting from a combination of my dad having to travel extensively when I was a kid and my sexual trauma/addiction history starting when I was 14. It was confusing and I really longed for him to be a part of my life. It took me a while to come around the circle of resentment towards my parents. Their life decisions affected me in ways I didn’t understand, yet they made all those decisions so I could live the life I have. My parents are my biggest, brightest, most loving support team. They played a beautiful role in the person I am today.
My parents have taught me about giving generously, putting in the effort to contribute to something bigger, and being kind to others. Although growing up in the bible belt, I did not grow up religious. It was confusing growing up not having a core belief system, but in the end, it helped me more accepting of the magic of life and the universe. It helped me create my own inner authority. My dad has taught me that life will through you all the struggles, its how you approach it that makes the difference. He was thrown a lot of short sticks and preserved to provide a life for me that was easeful and free.
Overall as a child, I smiled and danced my way through life. And I still find myself doing that. I was always excited to try out for a team or run for an executive position on the leadership team. I was president of the Spanish Club and Spanish National Honor Society. My Spanish teacher, Emma Mauri, was one of the best mentors I ever had growing up. She helped me achieve my dreams in high school by helping me convince my parents that a study abroad in Spain at age 16 was a good idea!!! It was my first time traveling solo, I didn’t know anyone until I arrived at the airport in Spain. I lived with a host family, met locals, and made some beautiful friendships. This was the beginning of many epic trips that wouldn’t have been possible without Mrs. Mauri’s loving blessing and belief in my growth.
Pricing:
- Individual Mentorship $88 a session
- 3-month Mentorship Journey $1,444
- Self Love Healing Ritual (Energy & Frequency Healing Session) $123
Contact Info:
- Website: www.dharmawithgemma.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/liberateyourenergy/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DharmawithGemma
Image Credits
Reba Jensen, Jene Collette Sigl from Darling Marketing, Jeana Marino, Kim Lepley, Heather Firestone
