Today we’d like to introduce you to Ashley Huckabee.
Can you briefly walk us through your story – how you started and how you got to where you are today. You can include as little or as much detail as you’d like.
From a young age, my life was fraught with anguish and suffering. I was in desperate need of healthy coping mechanisms, but nobody in my life possessed any. I had family that loved me, but people can’t teach you what they don’t know themselves. Instead, they chose to take the path of denial and addiction. Because this is what was modeled for me, I seemed destined to follow in those same footsteps.
By age 15, I began drinking, smoking pot, and popping pills. By 16, I was a full-blown addict, and my life had quickly spun out of control. My chemical dependency, coupled with the erratic behavior of the men I chose, turned my life into something right out of a Lifetime channel movie; a tale of terror, betrayal, and horrendous violence. Due to my poor self-esteem, I blamed myself for the abuse I was subjected to rather than challenging the way I was treated. I simply accepted it, and in the end, it made me deeply despise myself. While it’s true that I never loved myself or even liked myself, the revulsion I now felt drove me to the depths of despair. I could barely look in the mirror because the sight of my reflection was so nauseating.
Despite best efforts, my life continued to deteriorate. Even with AA, I was only able to stay sober for two years at a time. While in relapse, I discovered that the joy drinking once produced had long since disappeared. It had, instead, taken its place as the single largest source of torment in my life. I desperately wanted to quit for good, but because of medical issues I was experiencing, I felt like I didn’t have that choice. I had been to several doctors, but none could find the source of my chronic pain. Drinking was the only thing that seemed to relieve it, but because it only lasted a short while, it further reinforced the addiction cycle.
Regardless of my alcoholism, I held on to the belief that I could help people and be of service to the world. I gripped that dream tight and refused to let go of the hope that it offered. Unfortunately, by the time I reached 30, it began to seem like my dream was doing more harm than good. It started to feel like the tighter I held onto my aspirations, the more it served to trigger my emotional turmoil and depression. I started to believe that I must have been delusional all of these years to think that I had something of value to offer. I decided that, as a means of survival, it was time to put my childish dreams away. I tried to get on with my life and accept reality for what it was. This was heartbreaking, but I thought it would be easier than continuing to torture myself with desires that were obviously never going to come true. Fortunately, it wasn’t long before God intervened by way of a miracle.
I was suffering through one of the most difficult periods of my life, both emotionally and physically, and I was feeling utterly defeated. One night when I was feeling particularly hopeless, I put on a sermon and cried myself to sleep. When I woke up the following morning, it was clear something incredible had happened. After suffering in agony every day for 10 years, the mysterious pain had completely vanished. I got the distinct impression that I finally had a chance of becoming something other than the source of disappointment I had always been. In that moment, I knew everything had changed, and I reclaimed my dream of helping others.
I thought it was quite odd that this unexpected miracle happened at the time that it did. I couldn’t fathom why God would choose to ignore my daily pleas and then arbitrarily eliminate the problem. The answer to that puzzle didn’t elude me for long, though. Just two months after gaining some control over my life, my body completely crashed. I could barely breathe; my muscles were atrophying; I had lost all reflexes from the waist down; and I had such severe brain swelling that I developed anomic aphasia. I knew that if I had been drinking when all of this happened, I probably would have passed away within a few weeks. I went to a number of specialists, but none of them could provide me with an answer. Despite their sincere desire to help, all they could say was that I appeared to be dying, but they didn’t know why. As they ruled out each likely cause, there was no evidence of improvement.
One year and two long hospitalizations at the Mayo Clinic later, I was finally able to get all seven of my diagnoses. I had always assumed that my constant illness growing up was due to a weak immune system. When we eventually figured out what was going on, we realized that I was actually dealing with a wide range of ailments. Genetic disorders, diseases caused by toxic environments, syndromes triggered by my constantly overtaxed nervous system, chronic multi-strain Lyme, and I even contracted Guillain-Barré syndrome, a rare neurological disorder.
As strange as it seems, these health issues were my second big miracle. I had always put the needs of others ahead of my own, and my current health issues were proof of its negative impact. I believe that falling sick was a divine intervention because it helped me see everything in a new light. I was on the verge of death, and the folks who were digging my early grave couldn’t have cared less. I was done. In spite of the worry I had about letting other people down, I made the decision to finally speak up for myself.
Within the span of a year, I parted ways with almost everyone in my life, left my job, and made good on my lifelong ambition of relocating to the Austin area. This began one of the most beautiful periods of my life. Despite the fact that I was in constant pain and fighting for my life, we had caught everything right in the nick of time. And finally, for the first time, I was able to focus solely on my own needs. I could take as much time as I needed to heal, rest without guilt, and be sick without harsh judgment from supposed loved ones.
Since I had been subjected to so much abuse throughout my life, the physical pain I was dealing with paled in comparison to the emotional anguish. Being alone and having the permission to take care of myself immediately improved my anxiety and depression. I began to see glimpses of what my life would look like without these hindrances, and I knew in my heart that this was all part of God’s master plan to liberate me. It’s been several years now, and although I’m still trying to get back on my feet physically, I’ve found that the character and resilience I’ve developed as a result were well worth the struggle. Had God snapped His fingers and given me an easy way out, my body might be healthy, but my spirit would still be dying.
After allowing my brain some time to recover, I started a lengthy life coaching certification course. The instructor was a woman that I had looked up to for years, and getting the opportunity to work with her was revelatory. It felt like I finally had someone that believed in me, the real me. And this someone wasn’t merely putting on a front in order to gain something from me; it was genuine. Working with Heidi was like glimpsing into a mirror that reflected my authentic self —the version of me that I had never been able to see on my own.
I completed the certification course and began taking clients in an official capacity. During periods of sobriety, I had the opportunity to work with many different people, but I always viewed it as service work. With the tools and knowledge I gained through the program, I developed the confidence I needed to make it my career. All of the trials I encountered throughout my lifetime finally began to make sense. There was, in fact, a divine plan. I experienced a fundamental shift in my consciousness from which there was no going back.
We’ve been impressed with Got Grit Coaching LLC, but for folks who might not be as familiar, what can you share with them about what you do and what sets you apart from others?
- The first thing that sets me apart from other coaches is that I’ve conquered such a variety of challenges. It’s important to clients that they’re able to work with someone who’s overcome similar adversity and is able to provide the steps they took to do so.
- Another area where I shine would be my ability to come up with tangible tools and creative problem solving techniques.
- I think what I’m most proud of is that I’m very raw and real. I have no problem opening up about the things that used to haunt me because I’ve seen the positive impact it has on others. People regularly mention how much they appreciate me sharing my “actual story,” as opposed to some version of events that I believe will make me look better. If clients are to have hope, they must realize that no matter how far they have sunk, they can rise again. In fact, the right strategy can take that low point and use it to propel you higher than you ever could’ve gone otherwise.
- My clients frequently tell me that they appreciate my unconventional perspectives and my ability to encourage them while they learn to trust themselves.
- I received my life coaching certification through one of the most comprehensive courses in the nation.
- I live in Austin, Texas, but serve the entire US via Zoom.
- I handle a wide variety of difficulties, including but not limited to: codependency, trauma, anxiety/depression, and addiction recovery.
- Got Grit Coaching is woman owned and operated.
Do you have any advice for finding a mentor or networking in general? What has worked well for you?
My search for a mentor was something extremely important to me. When I started listening to Tony Robbins, he explained the impact a mentor can have and that it can shave years off the learning curve. Because I was getting started so late in life, I knew that this was my best shot. In the beginning, I had to find my mentors via YouTube or Audible books, but I always kept my eyes open.
By my twenties, I had come to the conclusion that the best way for me to have a peaceful life was to become self-employed. I started a maid service and later decided that I wanted to expand into cleaning windows. Fortunately, I was able to track down a local expert who was willing to show me the ropes. We developed a friendship, and I was able to learn the basics in a short period of time. This is a kind of silly example, but the formula stands. You find someone that has something you want, an ability or way of being, and simply ask. It’s amazing how many people will go out of their way to help you if you just have the courage to speak up.
The best mentor I’ve ever had was Heidi, the supervisor for my coaching certification program. We had met 10 years prior during my stay at her treatment center, and I knew immediately that she was exactly the type of woman I aspired to be. She had what I wanted; therefore, I wanted her… and I wasn’t going to stop until I made it happen. The obstacles were enormous, especially financially, but I stayed the course. I had finally found someone that I could look up to, and I wasn’t willing to back down.
Prior to working with Heidi, I searched for a mentor for several years. I tried my best, but the options in my small town were minimal and everyone in my orbit appeared to be just as miserable as I was. This became a major influence in my decision to relocate. I had always imagined myself living in Austin, and the primary reason was that everyone seemed so genuinely happy.
I sought out a number of “mini mentors” during the interim between moving to ATX and signing with Heidi. These were people I only saw occasionally, but I took full advantage, and learned as much from them as possible.
I think the biggest things to keep in mind when you’re looking for a mentor are:
- Go after someone with the qualities you REALLY want (not what your loved ones or society deems appropriate)
- Don’t settle
- Find creative ways and places to search
- Never give up
- Manage frustrations so you don’t get discouraged
- Always remember, “I got this!”
Contact Info:
- Website: www.GotGritCoaching.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gotgritcoaching
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/GotGritCoaching
- Youtube: https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCCd6iN1fQxVuJWo3tHl9keg/videos
