We’re looking forward to introducing you to Kristal DeSantis Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Check out our conversation below.
Hi Kristal, thank you so much for taking time out of your busy day to share your story, experiences and insights with our readers. Let’s jump right in with an interesting one: What are you being called to do now, that you may have been afraid of before?
I’m currently stepping onto something I used to find terrifying: the TEDx stage. For years, I admired those bold red-dot speakers from a distance, thinking, “Wow, maybe someday…” But someday always came with a side of imposter syndrome and stage fright.
Then I published my book, STRONG: A Relationship Field Guide for the Modern Man, in 2023 and I started to feel a calling I couldn’t ignore. The world of modern love has gotten noisy, chaotic, and kind of unhinged, honestly! There’s so much confusion about what real connection looks like that my old fear started to feel… smaller. My message—that love isn’t luck, it’s skill—felt more important to share on a bigger and wider scale than ever.
So I said yes to tacking this fear! I’ll be speaking at TEDxFullerton this October, at the Muckenthaler Center in California, on the theme Building Bridges. Even though my nerves are still showing up (and probably always will), my purpose is louder than my fear now. And that feels like the bravest thing I’ve done in a while.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist, speaker, and author based in Austin, Texas—but at heart, I’m a relationship translator. I help people (with a particular passion for working with men and couples) learn the emotional skills they were never taught, so they can stop missing connections and start building something real.
My work lives under the STRONG brand, which is my therapy practice, a training and education branch, and a non-profit arm. I created the STRONG Relationship Model after years of sitting with couples who were wanting a better way to love than they were shown growing up. They wanted intimacy, but often were running outdated scripts that maybe worked when love was more about function—dividing labor, raising kids, surviving the world—but don’t cut it in an era that desires deeper connection.
What makes STRONG different is that it starts with this very recognition: the modern relationship is a different animal. We’re no longer just surviving together—we’re trying to thrive together. But you can’t build deep connection without first understanding the invisible forces that block it and keep people stuck in old patterns. That’s why the STRONG model is trauma-informed, attachment-based, and relentlessly practical. It helps people see their patterns, name their emotional wounds, and develop the relational muscles they need to create lasting love—on purpose. I’m not just interested in what keeps couples together; I’m obsessed with what helps them become more vibrant, fulfilled, and connected.
Right now, I’m expanding STRONG into more public-facing work—more community events, speaking engagements, online courses, men’s mental health initiatives, and eventually retreats for couples and individuals.
Amazing, so let’s take a moment to go back in time. Who saw you clearly before you could see yourself?
One of my undergraduate professors! When I got to college it was really overwhelming to me, and I wasn’t sure where I belonged. But he saw the potential in me, and offered me a scholarship to join the theatre department. That gave me a place to land and a community to belong to. This professor challenged me, believed in me, and created space for me to fall in love with both storytelling and psychology. And that changed everything. He was the first to reflect back that my ability to feel deeply and think critically wasn’t just a quirk, it was a gift. That combo of heart and intellect became the foundation for everything I do now as a therapist, speaker, and writer.
Was there ever a time you almost gave up?
Absolutely! In 2019 I was in my peak hustle era. I was running a group practice with four office locations across Austin: East, North, Central, and South. I was the clinical director, supervising a growing team, and everything was finally humming. My plan for 2020 was clear: this was going to be the year I finally wrote my book.
And then… well, we all know what happened.
The pandemic hit, and overnight I had to shut down all four offices, move my entire team online, and try to hold everything together while the world fell apart. My job became supporting my clinicians while they supported clients who were struggling in real time. I went into full survival mode. The book dream? Back burner. Way, way back.
There were many moments honestly, when I thought, Well, that’s it. Maybe the book will never happen. Maybe I missed my shot. But something in me wouldn’t let it go. In 2021, I started writing again. Not because things had settled, but because the message was still alive in me. Even as the world kept shifting, I chipped away at the manuscript in the margins of my life.
It took two years, but in 2023 I finally published STRONG: A Relationship Field Guide for the Modern Man. And I’m deeply proud—not just of the book, but of the resilience it took to stay with the dream, even when it felt impossible. My practice changed. The world changed. I changed. But the core truth didn’t: love is a skill worth fighting for…and so are our dreams.
Next, maybe we can discuss some of your foundational philosophies and views? Where are smart people getting it totally wrong today?
Honestly? Two big things. First, this idea that you can hustle your way to a fulfilling life. And second, the belief that we can innovate our way out of needing other people.
So many high-achieving folks—especially the men and executives I work with—are still stuck in the mindset that if they just optimize enough, perform well enough, check all the boxes… they’ll finally feel happy and whole. But achievement and fulfillment are not the same thing. Productivity doesn’t equal peace. You can have the title, the income, the accolades—and still feel deeply disconnected from yourself and the people you love.
And then layer in the rise of AI and the digital age—which I’m actually really excited about in many ways—but it’s tricking some very smart people into thinking we can eventually sidestep our own humanity. Like maybe we won’t have to need each other anymore. That we can outsource intimacy, automate connection, or avoid the emotional labor of real relationships. That belief is not just wrong—it’s dangerous.
Fulfillment isn’t something you build with perfect systems. It’s something you feel in real moments. It lives in relationships, in presence, in shared experience. It comes from texture, not just structure.
So yeah, let’s innovate! Let’s be efficient. But let’s not forget that we are, first and foremost, human beings who need other human beings. That will never be obsolete.
Okay, we’ve made it essentially to the end. One last question before you go. If you laid down your name, role, and possessions—what would remain?
If I let it all go tomorrow—my title, my practice, the book, the brand—and moved to the mountains with my husband and a few rescue dogs (which, let’s be real, sounds pretty great some days)… I know love would still remain.
The love I’ve built with my husband, my family, my friends. The kind of love that shows up in a meal shared, in showing up for someone’s worst day, in the text that says “I was just thinking about you.” I’ve been intentional about building a life that’s rich in connection, not just achievement. And I know that those relationships, those memories, would outlive any title or material thing.
Some of my favorite moments as a therapist are when clients say, “We were about to have a fight, and then we heard your voice in our heads” or someone says, “I almost spiraled, but I remembered what you said.” That matters more to me than any accolade. Because it means I left something behind that lives in them—not just around them. And honestly, that’s legacy to me.
I spend a lot of time these days building courses, speaking, trying to scale impact, but whether it’s being with one person or a whole room, I just want people to walk away feeling more human, more connected, and less alone. That’s what stays.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.strong.love
- Instagram: @atxtherapist
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristal-desantis/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongloveatx
- Other: https://atxtherapist.medium.com/
