Meet Lynn Marie Cherry

Today we’d like to introduce you to Lynn Marie Cherry.

Hi Lynn Marie, we’re thrilled to have a chance to learn your story today. So, before we get into specifics, maybe you can briefly walk us through how you got to where you are today?
I graduated from college in May of 1991, got married to an amazing guy with a big heart, moved across the country and started my first real job a few months later. Talk about major life transition! I remember the sense of accomplishment, of goals achieved and boxes checked, but I also remember feeling a bit lost and like marriage wasn’t the happily ever after I’d been sold by Disney. In those early years, I had a gut feeling that something wasn’t quite right, but I just pushed the feeling aside and stuffed it all in. Crazy how we have the capacity to do that, isn’t it?

Years down the road, I was a busy working mom with two little boys living with a secret. My husband’s secret had become my secret. I slowly discovered that he had a long-term hidden life of compulsive use of pornography that was a part of his world before we ever met. He compartmentalized this sexual addiction in a box in his brain and believed the lie that it didn’t affect anyone but him. But that box tumbled out of his world and crushed mine. I felt less than. Humiliated. Unworthy of love. I couldn’t compete with porn. I would never be enough for him. I felt so alone. It was the darkest time of my life. I joke that I was the walking dead before zombies were cool. Truthfully, I would have stayed in bed all day every day if it wasn’t for my children. I had given up hope of ever being happy, but I wasn’t willing to let go of their happiness. I shuffled through life and functioned as best I could for those two boys.

Now, a lot of people would tell you that porn isn’t a big deal and I tried to convince myself of that. But my broken heart knew a different reality. I love how the folks at Fight the New Drug say it, “Porn kills love.” Porn creates self-centered sexual consumers and that looks nothing like love. What I know now, what research shows, is that porn interacts with the brain in much the same way that drugs do. The consumer gets desensitized. Dopamine receptors shrink and all that leaves them wanting more.

I attended a conference in 2004, and it was one of those experiences where it felt like every single speaker had somehow been spying on my life. As they shared their stories, I discovered hope for my story. Courage to believe my life could be different was planted in my heart and I left that conference with the phone number of a sexual addiction/betrayal trauma specialist. I told my husband I needed help. I couldn’t continue to live the way we had been living. I was going to see a therapist and I invited him to join me.

Fight the new Drug https://fightthenewdrug.org/

Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
Hardly, therapy was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. We were in counseling for two years and beyond. After stuffing things in for years, It was brutal owning the reality of my own life. There were times I wanted to give up on our relationship. There were times he wanted to give up. It’s hard enough to do addiction recovery work or trauma healing work alone, but for two people doing that work at the same time to co-exist in the same home with two small children was daunting. Gratefully, I was given the gift of watching my husband do the work of recovery. Recovery is hard but it is possible. I watched him grow and change. It takes time and concerted effort. I believe it requires community and others walking alongside you, but people can change. I read books and more books. I journaled and poured out my soul on paper and light began to shine in my darkness. It was a very spiritual journey. I came to know God in a way I never had. My soul was restored. Our relationship was restored. Actually, it was made new. We celebrated 30 years of marriage last summer. Phew! We barely survived some of those years, but the joy of being here together after all that hard work is so worth it.

As you know, we’re big fans of you and your work. For our readers who might not be as familiar what can you tell them about what you do?
People I never met mentored me through their books. I was so grateful for their part in my healing I decided to share my story. I published my book, Keep Walking, 40 Days to Hope and Freedom after Betrayal in 2016. It’s a 4o day devotional that includes the thoughts, stories, images and spiritual lifelines that helped my heart heal. It has sold over 4600 copies which I’m so proud of. I know each one of those represents a person who was at the end of their rope and hopefully, my words brought life to them. We all experience betrayal – sometimes in a romantic relationship, sometimes with a friend, family member or co-worker – Keep Walking helps you find the way through. In launching the book, I began to speak and truly discovered one of the greatest passions of my life. I love to share the hope of my story and put life tools in people’s hands.

A few years ago, a friend called to tell us about a church that was looking for an interim pastor. Our first answer was no, but then she mentioned the name of the church was Restoration. She had walked with us in our recovery season and knew that word would resonate with our hearts. It did and we began to explore the opportunity. In 2019, we were installed as the co-pastors of Restoration Covenant Church in Round Rock. It has been such a surprising twist in our story. Officially, my husband and I share one job. We work together every day. We often speak together! Who would have thought? We feel like having done recovery work and sharing this leadership role positions us to dismantle the toxic personality-driven church culture that is all over the news today. We want Restoration to be a safe place for people in process. We want to lead relationally knowing that although we are often wounded in relationships, we also heal through relationships.

My book http://bit.ly/kpwalking
Restoration http://restorationrr.com/

What would you say have been one of the most important lessons you’ve learned?
Over and over, I keep coming back to the title of my book. Keep Walking. Sometimes I feel like it is the mantra that continually smacks me whenever I get complacent or feel stuck. I believe no matter what life hands us if we take a step, and then another, and then another, there is always a way through.

Pricing:

• My book is available on Amazon $9,99 paperback
• $6.99 for the kindle version

Contact Info:

• Website: lynnmariecherry.com
• Instagram: @lynnmariecherry
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/keepwalkingbook
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/c/RestorationCovenantChurch
• SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/restorationrr 

Image Credits
For the main photo – headshot credit Maryna Marston all other photos are mine