Today we’d like to introduce you to Chris Bates.
Alright, so thank you so much for sharing your story and insight with our readers. To kick things off, can you tell us a bit about how you got started?
I didn’t set out to become a dating and health coach. I set out to fix my own life.
A few years ago I found myself divorced, burned out, physically off, and staring down that quiet panic of “Cool… now what?”. On paper things were fine. In reality, my health, confidence, and relationships were all running on fumes. So I did what I’ve always done when something isn’t working. I started experimenting.
I rebuilt my health first. Sleep, nutrition, training, hormones, stress. Not in a neurotic, spreadsheet-obsessed way, but in a sustainable, real-life way. That led me to working as the Lead Health Coach under Dr. Paul Saladino, coaching thousands of clients and learning firsthand what actually moves the needle versus what just sounds good on Instagram.
At the same time, I went all in on dating. Not chasing hacks or pickup lines, but treating it like a skill set rooted in integrity, clarity, and self-respect. I went on a lot of dates. Like… a lot. Some great, some awkward, some humbling, all educational. Somewhere along the way, men started asking me what I was doing differently and if I could help them shortcut the trial-and-error phase.
That’s how BatesDates was born. Not as a brand, but as a philosophy. Build a life you’re proud of. Take care of your body. Lead with honesty. Stop overcomplicating things. Date like an adult. And don’t outsource your standards to dating apps or social media.
Today, I live in Austin, coach men all over the world, run a community, create content, and wrote a book called The Dating Edge. Everything I do sits at the intersection of health, masculinity, relationships, and personal responsibility. No gimmicks. No scripts that feel slimy. Just helping people build a life and dating life that actually feels good to live.
Still experimenting. Still learning. Still failing forward. But I wouldn’t trade the path for anything.
Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way. Looking back would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
Definitely not a smooth road. If anything, it’s been more like a scenic route with potholes, detours, and a few “are we sure this bridge is safe?” moments.
The biggest challenge early on was trusting my own framework when it didn’t fit neatly into a box. Health spaces love extremes. Dating spaces love gimmicks. I live in the gray. That meant getting comfortable being misunderstood, especially online. When you’re not yelling the loudest or promising overnight transformations, growth can feel slower. It tests your patience and your ego.
Another big one was building something aligned with my values while still making it a business. I never wanted to sell fear, shame, or fake urgency. That’s harder than it sounds. It means saying no to easy money, partnerships that look good on paper, and advice that works but feels off in your gut. Learning to price my work fairly without turning into someone I didn’t recognize took time.
Personally, I also had to confront my own blind spots in real time. You can’t coach integrity if you’re avoiding hard conversations. You can’t talk about health if you’re neglecting rest. You can’t help men lead if you’re still outsourcing your confidence. The work forced me to grow faster than I sometimes wanted to.
And then there’s the emotional side. Showing up publicly, sharing your story, writing a book, coaching real humans with real lives. It’s rewarding, but it’s not light. You carry people’s wins and their setbacks with you.
The upside is that every struggle sharpened the work. The mess is what made it useful. Nothing I teach came from theory. It came from testing, messing it up, adjusting, and doing it again. That’s still the process.
Alright, so let’s switch gears a bit and talk business. What should we know about your work?
At this point, my work really centers around the book The Dating Edge.
I specialize in helping people make their approach to finding their person uniquely their own. Not copying someone else’s playbook. Not chasing trends. But building a clear, honest framework that actually fits who they are, how they live, and what they want long term.
The book is what I’m most proud of. It’s the cleanest expression of everything I’ve learned through coaching, dating, experimenting, failing, and trying again. It’s not a “do this, say that” manual. It’s a set of principles that help people stop wasting time, trust themselves more, and date with clarity, integrity, and intention. Writing it forced me to sharpen my thinking and take full responsibility for what I believe.
What sets me apart is my willingness to fail forward and give first. I’ve always been service-oriented. I share what I’m learning in real time, even when it’s messy or unfinished, because I believe value comes before validation. If I can help someone avoid a few dead ends or make one braver decision, that matters.
I genuinely believe the money, success, and fulfillment follow when you focus on elevating others. Build people up. Tell the truth. Lead with generosity. The rest tends to take care of itself.
Are there any apps, books, podcasts, blogs or other resources you think our readers should check out?
I’ll shamelessly start by plugging my own book.
The Dating Edge has weirdly become one of my most-used resources. After twenty-plus drafts and rereading it roughly twenty-five times, it turned into something cathartic. Years ago, I never would’ve believed I’d write a book I genuinely enjoy revisiting. It’s become a personal reminder of my own principles when I start drifting or overcomplicating things.
That said, most of my learning doesn’t come from books or apps. It comes from people. Conversations with clients. Stories from men navigating dating, relationships, and identity in real time. Listening to women talk honestly about what they experience, what they need, and what actually lands from a man’s perspective. Real life has been my greatest teacher, and I trust lived experience far more than theory.
For structure, I do use a few simple tools to organize my life, but motivation and insight almost always come from human interaction.
If I had to name one podcast, it would be Modern Wisdom. Chris Williamson is more than an acquaintance, less than a close friend, and someone I deeply respect. His curiosity, willingness to ask uncomfortable questions, and recent work exploring relationships has been genuinely useful and grounded.
Book-wise, Deep Work by Cal Newport has been influential in helping me protect focus in a very noisy world. The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry has also been helpful when taken with balance, not as an escape from ambition, but as a reminder to be intentional with time and energy.
Outside of all that, Tolkien’s work, especially The Lord of the Rings, continues to inspire me. Fiction gets underrated. Stories can carry truth, meaning, and motivation in a way that tactics never will. Sometimes you don’t need another framework. You need a reminder of courage, sacrifice, friendship, and choosing the harder right path.
At the end of the day, people are the resource. Everything else just helps organize the lessons.
Pricing:
- The Dating Edge, Paperback $15.99
- The Dating Edge, AudioBook $19.99
- The Dating Edge, EBook $9.99
- 45-Min Dating Strategy Session – Free (Limited Spots)
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.batesdates.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/batesdates/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@bates_dates
- Other: https://a.co/d/7aFigRd
