Today we’d like to introduce you to Evelyn Vieira.
Hi Evelyn, so excited to have you with us today. What can you tell us about your story?
My story begins in 2012 when I became a stepmom to two girls, ages 5 & 7. I had worked with kids for 15+ years before that as a Professional Nanny and Preschool Teacher so I thought becoming a stepmom would be a piece of cake. Boy was I wrong!
My stepdaughters were opinionated and sassy and the only tools I had to curb their behavior was old school tactics my parents used like time outs, removing privileges and grounding them. These tactics – shocker alert – didn’t work at all and actually made their behavior worse. The traditional power struggles, yelling to get them to listen and backtalk escalated to what I call a dumpster fire. I thought I was doing everything right – but everything I did made things worse. I felt like a failure.
Even though I had worked with kids, agencies and preschools for so many years, I still had no idea why kids misbehaved, how to address misbehavior without causing power struggles and how traditional approaches were negatively impacting my success as a parent.
Out of desperation, we dove head first into parenting classes, attending workshops, reading parenting books, watching YouTube videos and learned the reasons behind the behavior and how we were negatively impacting the results we were getting.
We changed 3 things: our mindset, our communication style and our focus.
Within a few months, things drastically improved. The yelling, power struggles and backtalk subsided and was replaced with calm voices, cooperation and organic respect. I didn’t have to threaten or bribe or get them to cooperate or respect me – the tools I learned transformed our home and skyrocketed my confidence as a parent!
Something in me clicked as I realized EVERY parent, teacher and caregiver needs to learn these skills!
As I shared my story and began teaching these skills to other parents, I began to see a pattern develop between the trauma we experience in childhood oftentimes from “traditional parenting methods” and how that impacts our insecurities as parents.
The more I learned, the more strategies and formulas poured out of me to easily and permanently solve our most stressful problems as parents while also empowering children to develop social emotional skills, problem solving skills, build confidence and tap into their internal guidance system instead of relying on external validation from others.
In 2019, I started my own business to teach and train parents, caregivers and teachers the skills that had changed my life. By 2023, I was a Certified Parent Coach, Trauma Support Specialist and had two Certifications with The Positive Discipline Association.
I realized that most of us are good parents, good teachers and good caregivers but we are using broken playbooks from past generations that cause harm to children. If we change the playbook, we will get better results. So I created a new playbook.
Over the years I have identified the 3 areas that we can unintentionally cause harm to children if we don’t have the proper tools. These areas are what I call the 3 D’s: Defiance, Distress and Discipline.
When we address these 3 D’s from traditional methods, we can create more power struggles, backtalk and disconnection with kids – like I had when I first became a stepmom. But when we learn new skills, everything changes.
My unique training program offers tools, strategies and formulas to address the 3 D’s without causing harm while increasing cooperation, confidence and creativity with youth. I believe in breaking cycles and systems, not children.
Today, I partner with parents, agencies, preschools, non-profits, detention centers and more to teach these life changing strategies to as many adults as possible.
My vision is that we disrupt systems that harm children by teaching effective skills to Defuse Emotional Distress, Disarm Defiant Behavior and Ditch Harmful Discipline Practices so that children can find belonging, acceptance and community in classrooms and in homes.
I live in Round Rock, Texas with my husband and partner in crime of 13 years, Dave, our Husky, Daisy and our two boys, Mateo (10) and Nico (8). My oldest step daughter, Isabel (20) is now in college going and my youngest stepdaughter, Olivia (17) is a Senior at Round Rock High School. When I’m not working, you can find me playing pickleball, hiking, drinking craft beer at a local brewery or attending a local storytelling event in Austin.
I’m sure it wasn’t obstacle-free, but would you say the journey has been fairly smooth so far?
Not at all! I struggled a lot with self doubt, insecurities, lack of motivation, feeling like a failure and feeling hopeless. I knew what I was doing was working wasn’t working, but I didn’t know what to do differently. I was stuck. I felt hopeless.. I wanted to change and make things better but it seemed like I was only making things worse. It took a few years to get to the point where I truly began to understand how much of my baggage I was bringing into my relationship with my stepdaughters. Once I learned that, everything changed.
Alright, so let’s switch gears a bit and talk business. What should we know about your work?
I am VERY creative! I have always been a “think out of the box” kind of person and have always been into art, creativity, theater, poetry, writing, etc my entire life.
I specialize in using my creativity, storytelling and hands-on learning style in my training and workshops. I have many activities in my training for parents, caregivers or teachers to role play and I use props, photos or slides to tell stories of how impactful adult behaviors can be on children.
I am a visual person so I love creating beautiful catchy PDF workbooks with video trainings explaining how to address misbehavior in more healthy ways. Some of my classes include: The Shame-Free Discipline Strategy, The Meltdown Makeover Method, The Big Feelings Formula, Crack the Cooperation Code Starter Kid and The Cycle Breaker Family Roadmap. I am most proud of the programs and systems that I have developed so that others can get the respect, cooperation and connection with children that they deserve!
Can you tell us more about what you were like growing up?
When I was in grade school, I was very shy and imaginative. I daydreamed A LOT and wasn’t great at school but loved reading books, playing soccer and spending time climbing trees. When I got to high school, I discovered theater and loved being on stage, acting and telling stories. This is when I came out of my shell a bit and became more social and outgoing.
Pricing:
- $27
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.cyclebreakerparenting.com/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cyclebreakerparenting/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@cyclebreakerparenting
- Other: https://thecyclebreakercoach.substack.com/?utm_campaign=profile_chips
Image Credits
FemForce
