Today we’d like to introduce you to Tom Stephan
Tom, we appreciate you taking the time to share your story with us today. Where does your story begin?
If there’s one continuous thread in my life, it’s storytelling. I was always fascinated by stories, whether it’s listening to them, telling them, telling other people’s stories, learning something and adding to the stories of others. The best stories had lessons at the end – something that allowed you to understand why the journey took place at all.
I started as a writer and reader, which I spun into becoming an editor at my high school newspaper, then a teacher, then a director of children’s theater, then a journalist, a college instructor, a professional actor (stage, not film) and finally as a communications and public relations person. It was this last career where I sat in a very grey cubicle with very grey walls and very grey overhead lighting, that I wondered if this was the end of my road; would I turn fifty in this cubicle?
I decided I didn’t want to be found in a cubicle, having suffered a mundane heart attack and found by the post-lunch crowd asking if I’d finished that email. I had to do something.
While I was pondering that middle-aged question, I remembered an interview with Toni Morrison I saw decades ago, where she said that, in the face of overwhelming priorities, she had two that were non-negotiable: to mother her children and to write books. It’s a powerful concept, isn’t it? If all else needed to fall by the wayside…what would my priorities be?
It took a while, but I decided on two of my own: to never stop learning and never stop communicating. So at 44 I enrolled in college to become a mental health counselor. I wanted a future where I never stopped having a chance to change AND be changed by my interactions with others. Counseling had always been something that seemed…I don’t know…mystical. Something that had once been only in the purview of priests and the wise women and men of villages. It was a wonderful new way to communicate. I wasn’t entirely sure how I would manage a full-time job and school at night, but I sort of threw myself into the universe and hoped it would provide.
Then the COVID-19 pandemic snuck in through the fabric of humanity and sent us scrambling for cover. I was stuck at home like the rest of the world, wondering what the future looked like. But the paperwork had already been signed and the college courses begun, so I adjusted to life as a full time remote student, a full time remote employee and a full time madman, typing papers into the late night. Three years later I completed my degree, including a rewarding but grueling year-long internship, and at 48, am one of the newest oldest counselors you’ll ever meet. I chose Marriage and Family Therapy as my specialty, and am fascinated by the systemic nature of humanity; humans thrive on connection and the stories they build, share and pass on affect generation upon generation. A therapist does not tell you what to do – they instead help you tell your story, and then you decide how you want to change it or keep it the same. That’s magic of the oldest kind, isn’t it? To know your story in order to change the ending?
I’ve been working professionally for a year or so now at Therapy Unlocked in Round Rock (and remotely across Texas). I’m what they call an LMFT-Associate, meaning I’m something of a journeyman supervised by my elders in the field. I work with couples, individuals and family members to make sense of the stories of their lives, and I love what I do. People often say “I could never do what you do!” and I think “But it’s wonderful – how could you NOT want to do what I do?” The world needs empathetic communicators, more than ever, and in all colors and of all walks of life and all flavors of personality. I’m proud to be contributing to the tradition of village elders and kooky hermits dispensing wisdom in snippets.
I’m supported in my odd journey by the love of my family and friends, and a partner of 16 years who, when I said “I’d like to be a therapist,” supported every late night cram session and caught every tear of exhaustion as they fell.
I’m uplifted by one of my longest lasting friendships who, when I said “I’d like to be a therapist,” said “Well you might as well get paid for what you’ve been giving me for free for 20 years,”
And I’m uplifted by every person who’s gifted me with their story as a client. Therapists learn from their clients, and they never stop teaching us new things.
I suppose that’s where I’ll end it and say thank you.
Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
Smooth as Texas roads. You know, perfect right up until the construction zones start. The pandemic disrupted so much but it required adaptation and innovation; more people than ever are accomplishing so much in the virtual zone. I was a graduate of Lamar University’s online program for Master’s-level courses, and even my internship was a hybrid of remote and in-person work. I’d wake up at 7am, log into my day job at 8, work until 5 and take classes from 6-9 PM. I did that for 3 years (though to be honest I’m not sure how…necessity is the mother of endurance I suppose). But the helpers of that journey; my classmates, my friends, my partner, my family…made it worth the 12 hour days.
Thanks – so what else should our readers know about your work and what you’re currently focused on?
Therapy Unlocked is a group of experienced and licensed mental health providers committed to delivering high-quality care across Texas. The practice is diverse, kind, ferociously capable and competent. The goal is to make mental health care accessible to all who need it, no matter where you live, work and play.
If you had to, what characteristic of yours would you give the most credit to?
I think it’s an even split between benevolent self-delusion and practical know-how. If you have the competence AND you think you’ll succeed despite the odds…you’re probably gonna be okay.
Pricing:
- Sliding Scale Fees
- Insurance Accepted
Contact Info:
- Website: https://therapy-unlocked.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tom_stephan_lmft_a/
Image Credits
Tom Stephan
