Today we’d like to introduce you to Jeff Lutes.
Hi Jeff, we’re thrilled to have a chance to learn your story today. So, before we get into specifics, maybe you can briefly walk us through how you got to where you are today?
I grew up in Lexington, Kentucky, in the 60s and 70s, and my teenage years covered a lot of creative territory. One minute I was performing magic shows for schools, businesses, and dinner theaters; the next I was singing my heart out with a traveling church youth group. By the 80s, I somehow found my way inside a Wildcat costume as the University of Kentucky mascot and was on the squad that won the school’s very first national cheerleading championship, televised from Honolulu and hosted by Bruce (now Caitlyn) Jenner. I then earned my Master’s in Clinical Psychology and was a teaching assistant during those years. All these experiences taught me the skills and gave me the confidence to speak, teach, and be out in front of large audiences — which is ironic since a big part of my identity was still tucked away in the closet.
Everything changed when I moved to Austin in the late 80s. I came out as a gay man, finally began living authentically, and started my career as a therapist. After working in a hospital, a residential treatment center, and a non-profit counseling center, I eventually opened my private practice. During that time, I fell deeply in love with a beautiful young man who died of AIDS six years later. His loss broke my heart, but it also taught me more about courage, grief, resilience, and gratitude than any degree or textbook ever could.
In 1998, I met my now-husband, Gary, at a country western bar — which only proves that sometimes the universe does its best work on the dance floor in cowboy boots. A few years later, we adopted our three kids: one from China and two from the Texas foster care system. Gary and both of our boys are Deaf, so American Sign Language is the primary language in our home.
Somewhere in those wonderfully chaotic parenting years, I served as the Executive Director of a national LGBTQ+ non-profit called Soulforce. We used the principles of nonviolence and civil disobedience to challenge the anti-gay policies of major religious institutions. It was a decidedly uncommon path — and it deepened my ability to help LGBTQ+ clients wrestling with self-acceptance and religious trauma.
Throughout my professional career, I’ve attended and presented at several conferences. After noticing just how heteronormative most of them were, I founded the Center for Contemporary Relationships in 2014. Our mission is to train professionals to better support LGBTQ+ people in strengthening their relationships — a need that was long overdue.
Along the way, I discovered I love writing and public speaking. I’ve published in two professional journals, written a children’s book (Okin the Panda Bear Finds His Family), a book about long-term LGBTQ+ couples (Trailblazers in Love), and I’m currently co-editing a collection of LGBTQ+ short stories (Proud Outtakes) set for release in 2026.
These days, Gary and I are empty nesters — which mostly means we’re free to obsess over HGTV and sports without embarrassing our children. We’re devoted Longhorn fans with season tickets to football and volleyball, but my first love will always be University of Kentucky basketball. About twice a week during hoops season, you’ll find me either cheering or crying in front of a television. Thankfully, my clients remain blissfully unaware of how unglued and emotionally unstable I become during March Madness.
As you know, we’re big fans of Jeff Lutes Counseling & Consulting. For our readers who might not be as familiar what can you tell them about the brand?
I have an office in Westlake with a wonderful mix of therapists, psychiatrists, and nurse practitioners. I see individual clients and facilitate two groups for gay men, but I most enjoy working with couples — both gay and straight. I am most proud of founding The Center for Contemporary Relationships, which has held an annual conference on LGBTQ+ relationships in Texas, Kentucky, Ohio, and New Jersey. We also offer a more intensive certification program that prepares clinicians to be competent in working with the LGBTQ+ community.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.jefflutespsychotherapy.com and www.contemporaryrelationships.com
- Instagram: @jluteslpc
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JeffLutesCounseling/
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeff-lutes-aa744218/
