Today we’d like to introduce you to Catherine Hair.
Hi Catherine , so excited to have you with us today. What can you tell us about your story?
I began as the second daughter to a biracial couple. My father was a Caucasian American and my Mother is South Korean. I was unwanted because I was a girl…or so I was told. From an early age I suffered extreme violence and terror from my parents. Not your average 1980’s spaking, but deep psychological and physical abuse. My parents eventually divorced. My mother moved on, leaving my sister and I with my father. After the divorce, the terror and physical abuse escalated and my father began grooming us for sexual abuse. My mother later returned for my sister and I was left behind. My father was a poor provider and we almost always lived in a state of poverty and neglect. He was also a criminal and was wanted by police. These facts made me vulnerable to predators in the vicinity. At 13 years old, a woman in the trailer park where I lived befriend me and made introductions to men who would sexually assault me. By definition or technically, you could say I was trafficked… but not like in the movies. One time, after an assault, the man asked if I was hungry. I said I was… I was often hungry, and he fed me. This taught me that I had value and could leverage or barter myself for things… and so I did. Was I still a victim at this point? Well, this went on until a few weeks after I turned 14, and I became pregnant. With help from a few people who risked much, I ran for my life at the age of 14 with my 12 day old son. Not long after, I met a young man, and at 15 years old, I become pregnant again. Joshua asks me to marry him and promises to be good to me. I agree to marry him and we have a daughter. We live happily ever after….some really hard stuff. How does a 15 year old and a 19 year old make a marriage work? We go on to have 4 children together making 5, including my first son. We have stayed happily married for nearly 33 years. We have never lived in poverty and we have never had drugs or alcohol as part of our life even in the smallest measures in our years together. With no abuse, poverty, divorce, substance use or abuse, and no violence, I have broken the cycle. In the book “The Tornado’s Daughter “, the author, Ted L. Turner helps me tell the story of my triumph over darkness and statistics. As Charlotte Gwalt, I talk about how I overcame the trials and how I became successful. I talk about the things I learned about the difference in seeking value and finding my worth, and how to invest in my life. I learned to carefully consider every investment and the associated return. I am truly happy. I have a good marriage, a successful business, and I am good friends with all of my children and their companions, AND I am best friends with all 6 of my grandchildren. Who could ask for more? I just recently went into remission after a short bout with cancer. “Remission ” is an interesting word. I believe I am also in “spiritual remission “. The trauma is still there. It really happened, but it doesn’t affect me any more. There are those who don’t believe my story. They seem to believe that if I could ever find peace or happiness, well then my trials must not have been that bad. It is a lie. I think some people are afraid to find peace and happiness because is somehow translates to,”it must not have been that bad” and it feels like you are betraying yourlsef. Trials can be horrific and you can still find peace.
I’m sure it wasn’t obstacle-free, but would you say the journey has been fairly smooth so far?
Hell no! Besides what I have already mentioned… you can add education or rather the lack of it. I am a high-school drop-out. The apathy was staggering. Ted was among the first to believe my story and that was after 30 years! I just quit trying to tell anyone. I hadn’t even told my husband my story. He heard it for the first time when Ted interviewed me for the book. Back in the day, it wasn’t cool to be poor or knocked up as a teenager. We didn’t get our own TV show, we were pariah. Try finding a babysitter when you are a mother of 2 at the age of 17! No mother would let her daughter babysit for me. Lastly it has been hard to forgive and not to seek prideful revenge. None of my abusers ever receive justice.
Thanks – so what else should our readers know about your work and what you’re currently focused on?
Okay, so I do own a business with my husband. It is an automotive repair business that specializes in paintless dent repair, especially hail damaged vehicles. I also do lots of service especially in my church community. I have twice been calledto serve as the local president of a women’s organization called “Relief Society “. But what I am most pleased with are the connections I have made with others. I have a talent for helping people find hope, peace and their self worth. My past is full of intense and meaningful connections with people. I strive to uplift and support people one by one.
How do you think about happiness?
Tough to sum up… I guess you could call it my heavenly perspective. As a devout Christian, things of a heavenly or eternal nature make me the happiest. Family, charity, service, faith…
